Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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