And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
