if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
