3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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