Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
