maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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