everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
