But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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