There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize