idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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