I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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