I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
