FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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