Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize