I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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