Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
