we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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