Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
