Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
