Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize