wake up i wanna do it froggy style
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
