I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize