She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize
