U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
