I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm like, not good at living.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
