he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
3 2 1 whiskey
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
