i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
