you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
