Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Having a random hookup so left but love u
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
