I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
She has the best kind of daddy issues
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
