We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
