I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
