There is no way he is gay with that hair.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
