You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize