so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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