That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
