dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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