its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
