Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
someone owes me an orgasm
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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