Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
