porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
