Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
