I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
