Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize