Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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