My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
