There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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