would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Randomize
