i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
