two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
