he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
