she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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