i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
