you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
