it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
we're so committed to being not committed
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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