so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
