But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
