I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
