Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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