my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
