You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize
