what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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