I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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