Yo dont text me then not text me
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Randomize
