I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Someone came in the potted fern
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
