Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize