Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
