im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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